I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
