dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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