I just saw a hot homeless man
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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