Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
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I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
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I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize