oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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