hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
