Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
