This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
