You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
