My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
