there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
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