I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
