you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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