I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
