Your face is a jimmy john
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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