did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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