i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
