Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
