Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
