Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
