Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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