haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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