oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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