I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We smell like vodka and hangover
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
