i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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