I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
