Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
