so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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