It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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