Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
birth control should be required to get into college
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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