I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
