Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
