You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
