I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
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He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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