the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
