did you get engaged???
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
