So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
