i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
