It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
