haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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