I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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