only if we run a train.
done.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
