I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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