Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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