Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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