finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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