...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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