Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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