oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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