can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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