I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
