please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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