i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
you never un-have a 4some
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
