I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
