do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
