That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
