Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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