Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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